Seen in today’s local paper:

A Johnstown woman was jailed after authorities said she tried to steal several small animals from a local pet store.

City police said Jennifer Lauren Jury, 42, of Broad Street, entered Animal Jack’s Pet Shop on Fifth Street on Monday and made her way to the second floor.

As Jury came downstairs and tried to leave the store, an employee noticed three hamsters and two mice in her purse.

“I could see them crawling out of her purse,” the employee said.

When the employee confronted her, Jury took the animals out of her purse and left the store, police said.

Jury was found at her residence, where police said she admitted she had been arrested for retail theft twice before.

Jury was charged with retail theft and arraigned by District Judge Michael Musulin of Johstown. She was sent to the Cambria County Prison after failing to post $5,000 bond.

The hamsters and mice were valued at $4, police said.

The story prompts numerous thoughts:

• Why was she held on $5,000 bond for a $4 stealing misdemeanor?
• Why did the paper bother writing this up at all, especially as a real news story?
• Why are there so many one-sentence paragraphs? It’s really distracting!
• If you want to steal small animals from a pet store, make sure you zip your purse.