Seen in today’s local paper:

A Johnstown woman was jailed after authorities said she tried to steal several small animals from a local pet store.

City police said Jennifer Lauren Jury, 42, of Broad Street, entered Animal Jack’s Pet Shop on Fifth Street on Monday and made her way to the second floor.

As Jury came downstairs and tried to leave the store, an employee noticed three hamsters and two mice in her purse.

“I could see them crawling out of her purse,” the employee said.

When the employee confronted her, Jury took the animals out of her purse and left the store, police said.

Jury was found at her residence, where police said she admitted she had been arrested for retail theft twice before.

Jury was charged with retail theft and arraigned by District Judge Michael Musulin of Johstown. She was sent to the Cambria County Prison after failing to post $5,000 bond.

The hamsters and mice were valued at $4, police said.

The story prompts numerous thoughts:

• Why was she held on $5,000 bond for a $4 stealing misdemeanor?
• Why did the paper bother writing this up at all, especially as a real news story?
• Why are there so many one-sentence paragraphs? It’s really distracting!
• If you want to steal small animals from a pet store, make sure you zip your purse.

Following in the tradition, here are some amusing search terms used to find this website in the past month:

• thunderbird is already running – good for it
• 10 oz baby – not quite
• greek mythology atlas shoulders
• different kinds of hammer – IANAC
• hares -delete in vcs – Version-controlled rabbit stew?
• ubuntu breasts – This shows up regularly… what are they expecting to find?
• mens nipple brestfeeding
• tortoise vs svk – tortoise wins?
• baby lojack and hospitals
• should we be able to design babies – no
• breastfeeding and firefighting – Not a combination I would recommend
• life should not be a journey to the grave – We’re all going to die somtime

An elementary school class started a class project to make planters to take home to their parents. They wanted to have a plant in it that was easy to take care of, so they decided to use cactus plants. The students were given green-ware pottery planters in the shape of clowns which they painted with glaze. The clown planters were professionally fired at a class outing so they could see the process. It was great fun! They planted cactus seeds in the finished planters and they grew nicely, but unfortunately, the children were not allowed to take them home.

The cactus plants were removed and small ivy replaced them and the children were then allowed to take
them home instead. The teacher said cactus seemed like a good idea at the time!